feeling or ..... ?

when you wake up and see a world around you and you realize there is no one care about you in every little things you do.. what do you feel? . yeah.. maybe sad, restless, disappointed or mad? .. haha.. but i never feel that.. (honestly, sometimes... hehehe ). actually, it's not about care or something else like that but it's all about feeling. ._.

hmmm... there is a story about the last story in my life that i never think about. i just want to show that i care and always see her (although i know, i never see her again for a long times ago..haha). nothing happen, just sending a simple message for ask some question about daily life and "how are you?". haaaaa... i don't know and never want to know about her respond (good or not).. because i am too scared to think about the past story that makes me feel sad in the thousand smile that i show to the people. Nothing happen.. just a daily message until this day and just a simple hope for a better condition and pray for her happiness (never hope i will feel the same)...

i can't be perfect, i know it. i can't be like her, i know it. and i can't live with that ways like the others people do around her. but the simple things that i can do is make sure that she is in a happiness and always in a good condition, Only that. because it's enough if there is only a smile in a one side of two person and it must be in her side. No words that can describe my happiness when i see and know her happy, no one. I just trying the best that i can to makes something different, only that. never hope or expect more, just wish better.

every night when i want to sleep, i just feel like there is a missing part if i don't say anything to her. it's like an ice cream without ice. haaaaa... Maybe I don't cry, but it hurts. Maybe I won't say, but I feel. Maybe I don't show, but I care. every little things activities that i do everyday, it's all to know more and more about her. sometimes i feel a good respond but sometimes i don't.

 I just felt this is not a way for me to go straight as usual i do. This is very complicated and unpredictable, i just feel a restless and didn't know what should i do. every step that i did and every moment that i do about her,just a simple hope and wish. Only that..

simple.. life is too short to wake up with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.. :D

i still hope the best for her, not for me. It will b okay if there only a smile in one side, and it must be in her side.. You never walk alone.. ^^